Wasting time

Just a minor whinge to get your Monday started off right.

Time is precious. I talk about that a lot.

Sometimes when things are tight, I struggle to find time for everything I want to do and need to do, and I don't think that's unusual (except that a lot of the goals I prioritize are self-imposed). And sometimes--especially when other people are imposing on me expecting my attention or my contributions--I complain about that struggle.

Only to occasionally be met with criticism or condescension.

Because, you see, sometimes I do things that others rank as unimportant, unnecessary, or "a waste of time."

Why don't I stop spending so much time on drawing comics? Why don't I opt out of mentoring in Pitch Wars? Why don't I just relax my standards on keeping my sites up to date? Why don't I hold off on making videos for a while? Why don't I quit reading so many books?

Here's the thing. I AM IN CHARGE OF MY TIME. I GET TO SAY HOW I SPEND IT. I'M ALLOWED TO "WASTE" MY TIME. OTHERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WASTE IT FOR ME.

It's sort of baffling how often someone will target one of the activities I've chosen as worthy of my time and opine that it should not be important. And it's also odd how they never criticize, say, spending time with friends/family or stuff like enjoying (ahem) television shows or movies. I can consume visual media and be social, and people understand why I might want to do those things. But if I read or create a lot of stuff, I'm frequently told that those things are unworthy of attention and are nothing but a waste of time. Or sometimes people will say you know, you don't HAVE to do that, or will "reassure" me that I don't have to do whatever I'm doing as much or as thoroughly--as if I just needed someone to step in and tell me not to drive myself so hard.

I like doing those things. They are not wastes of time.

So no, it is not hypocritical of me to, say, spend a bunch of time pounding out reviews for books and then turn around and complain that someone who wants my attention is wasting my time. I am incredibly protective of my time. But other people don't get to look how I'm spending it and independently decide that I do indeed have time to help them. If I've said I don't have time to do something, I'm not literally saying I was booked for other things through circumstances beyond my control. The circumstances are often explicitly in my control, though that's not always the case, and I am the one who has chosen to order my life with the priorities you see. In other words, "You said you didn't have time to do X but I saw you doing Y which I think isn't as important" does not work for me. And if you ever say such a thing to me, you probably will lose any opportunity you had for your issues to become my priorities. If there's one thing that irks me, it's other people deciding what I should value and then judging me by those standards.

I can "waste" my time if I like. Chances are that I don't consider those things a waste in the first place if I'm devoting time to them, but that's beside the point.

The point is that it is in fact my time. Not someone else's.