Metrocon 2018

I went to Metrocon this year by myself.

Friday I went with Jeaux (dressed as the Pines twins from Gravity Falls!) but he was feeling under the weather and then the next morning he woke up really ill. He told me he'd meet me at the convention Saturday later in the day if he was feeling better, but he never did feel better, so I did the con by myself, dressed as Stevonnie from Steven Universe, armed with a ukulele and a Cheeseburger Backpack.

And . . . that was great?

I've never been to one of these things by myself before so it was a new experience to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and doing it made me realize how much I worry about other people when I'm with them. Are they tired? Hungry? Bored? Want to go somewhere else? Need to rest? Are they cold? Are they hot? Are they okay? Do they want to go before I do? Do I want to go before they do?

It just seemed like the natural thing to do--and to some extent you obviously are always supposed to keep checking in with your companions whenever you do something together--but I really never noticed how much time and energy I spend on monitoring others' experiences and trying to make allowances for them. And that's a little weird because I don't even have any kids--I have no reason to be constantly in Mom Mode.

At the convention by myself, I spent almost all of the time walking around looking at costumes. I went up and down and all around, visited the vendor room, looked at all the stuff, took pictures, talked to people, played music with a couple people (because I had my ukulele!), and only went to one convention event (the music video contest, which made me laugh and cry!). I think what I did would have gotten repetitive for most other people, but I really, really liked it. I kept seeing new things and when I didn't have anything else to do I'd just go somewhere else. Look at dancers, look at gamers, look at stuff to buy. And of course if there was someone in a cool costume, I'd stop and tell them how cool it was and sometimes have a chat about it.

And anytime I needed to sit down, to rest, to give my feet a break, to go outside so I could warm up . . . I could always do it right when I wanted to instead of waiting for someone else to be finished with something or compromising. I know a lot of people would say it's more fun with other people because then you get to share your experience with others, and of course that's valid, but I realized from this that I spend so much energy on making sure the others I'm with are having a good time that I don't really think about myself.

It was definitely worth doing. I hope I get to go again next year.