A while back a man came onto one of my YouTube videos to tell me how selfish I am.
“I’ve liked you, romantically,” he said, “against your SELFISH will.”
And he called me a narcissist for the same. Typed a mean frowny face and didn’t comment again.
Let’s talk about this:
- I am considered selfish because I don’t reciprocate this man’s interest.
- I am considered selfish because I expect to be regarded with respect when I am propositioned.
- I am considered selfish because there isn’t a way for this man to have me against what he knows is my will.
- I am considered selfish because I consider my desires equally important compared to the desires of people I interact with.
- I am considered selfish because mutual attraction would be a prerequisite for any relationships in my life.
- I am considered selfish because I am not patiently dating, tolerating, and humoring people to whom I am not attracted just on the off chance that after thirty-seven years of life without ever being attracted to a man, I might inexplicably be attracted to this particular entitled lout.
- He does not believe he is selfish for expecting a woman to respond to his declared desire with automatic reciprocation.
- He does not believe he is selfish for responding to a woman’s declaration of asexuality and aromanticism with requests that I change for him.
- He does not believe he is selfish for opining that my job is to respond positively and eagerly to a man I’ve had nothing but combative, aggressive conversation with.
- He does not believe he is selfish for claiming to be entitled to my time and attention just for saying he wants it.
- He does not believe he is selfish for desiring me bodily and as a partner while claiming my own thoughts and feelings are repugnant and irrelevant to him.
- He does not believe he is selfish for unapologetically expecting a woman to ignore her own desires and go against her own inclinations simply to satisfy him.
I suppose he believes I’m selfish and narcissistic because he only cares about himself, and yet I’m behaving like my self matters.