Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Wednesday Factoid: Apologies

Today's Wednesday Factoid is: Do you apologize too much?

Good question.

I read an article once saying women in general say "sorry" much more often than necessary. I think most of us don't realize we're doing it. So it's kind of hard to tell whether I'm apologizing "too much." Probably?

I know at work that I politely apologize for any interruptions, but it's true that I sometimes apologize to people who are doing their jobs, apologize for things that aren't my fault (though that's not the only reason you'd say "sorry"), and apologize as a way to start a conversation as if I expect to be treated like an inconvenience. Those are probably social cues I've picked up as a lady in society. Sometimes I think about it and try to do it less.


I have also talked a little about apology in a different context. And some people have said that because I have called myself out on things I've done wrong, that I'm "apologizing too much." I made a video a while back about mistakes I'd made in my activism career, mostly in my YouTube videos, bringing up the content of the mistake, the reason it's a mistake, and what I should have said instead. A couple of comments said I was being too inclusive.

Read that, seriously. Too inclusive.

These are the kinds of people who think more inclusive language and more inclusive societies are "too PC." That making a specific effort to equalize, make up for past inequalities, and acknowledging wrongdoing is "pandering." That it's unreasonable for people to want to be included in mainstream consideration if they aren't mainstream themselves, and that those of us who recognize the legitimacy of their concerns are "what's wrong with this country." That we're destroying it. But acknowledging where we were wrong and trying to make it better.

I don't think I apologize anywhere near "too much" for stuff like that.


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