tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post6651737056976655822..comments2023-11-28T06:18:53.641-05:00Comments on In Propinquity: Comment warsJulie Sondra Deckerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15755582329896793392noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-46556283036367982962015-08-26T16:50:05.775-04:002015-08-26T16:50:05.775-04:00I'm not ace, but I have read a lot of articles...I'm not ace, but I have read a lot of articles, yours and from other asexual people, and I consider myself an ally, even a well informated one. When the teacher who come to my high school to give a sexuality class said that asexuality doesn't exist, I raise my hand and tell her that there were a community, a very important one. The next day (she came 4 days), she told me that she have asked in the national LGTB website and they told her that asexuality wasn't exist (that didn't surprised me), so, the third day, I gave her a two pages long letter I wrote about it, I named studies, and some activist like you, and one of the points I made was that machist, racist and homophobes have to hide and disguise their bigotry behind "critical" or "politically incorrect" thoughts, or saying "i'm not machist/racist/homophobe, but"... They know there are something wrong at it, but acephobes can say it in your face. I said to her that "Obviously, you can believe whatever you want, and, given that you believe the official version, everything it's gonna be easier for you that it is for other todays bigots who need to put "but" in front of the tolerance". I very proud of that letter, and, the fourth and last day, she went to me and told me that she found it interesting, and she said thank you to me, so I felt happy. And don't worry about the trolls, some people reveal the worst part of their sad lives behind a keyboard, and changing that will need decades, but the official favorable version is comming!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06610871665941770660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-10433372619832043332014-10-05T20:07:35.538-04:002014-10-05T20:07:35.538-04:00I agree. And usually it's a much safer bet to ...I agree. And usually it's a much safer bet to assume you know someone's communicating that they want you to kiss them if you have any experience with them at all. Ken did this the day I met him. And actually I think he KNEW I would not enjoy it, but had a fantasy that somehow it would shock me and then melt me, or maybe that I would fantasize about it later and come to him for fixing. It was gross.Julie Sondra Deckerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15755582329896793392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-36362595131562397042014-10-02T11:38:27.345-04:002014-10-02T11:38:27.345-04:00while it's possible to tell if someone wants t...while it's possible to tell if someone wants to be kissed without saying it, and some people don't mind being spontaneously kissed, what ken did to you was gross. you told him you weren't interested in kissing and yet he did anyways.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18371692325984504666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-21263724120017280152013-06-24T19:19:38.234-04:002013-06-24T19:19:38.234-04:00Yeah, the jtrobs guy was obviously confusing "...Yeah, the jtrobs guy was obviously confusing "education" with "recruiting." Yeah, I want people to share my views--that asexuality isn't wrong, that asexuality doesn't mean you're sick, that asexuality isn't a disorder or a cover for homosexuality or an excuse for not being able to find a partner. For some reason he seems to think explaining it to people means I'm trying to get people to convert, like it's a religion. But people REGULARLY misrepresent asexuality as "not having sex" or "being against sex," so that doesn't really surprise me. They wrap their minds around it incorrectly, and then attack the perspective they believe me to hold. Too bad they're too busy yelling to listen.<br /><br />Yes, it definitely scares me to think what could have happened if I hadn't gotten out of the car fast enough or if Ken had been more determined. His follow-up comments definitely indicated that he prioritized his desires over my words and honestly believed I was attracted to him. He also believed that my own stated perspective on the subject was irrelevant next to what HE saw as sexual interest. (Some people interpret any friendly attention as sexual interest.) It was very clear to me that he was NOT open-minded about my orientation and believed he was just the person to fix me, and the article I was in discussed "corrective" rape that has actually happened to asexual people. I could have been one of them and I was lucky to escape with only a grossed out reaction and a desperate need for a thorough shower.Julie Sondra Deckerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15755582329896793392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-66505157787940581432013-06-24T09:02:47.446-04:002013-06-24T09:02:47.446-04:00Congratulations on a succinct summary and well wri...Congratulations on a succinct summary and well written article. I've often found myself guiltily thinking- maybe I shouldn't feel so upset about erasure, after all, I'm not persecuted so openly as others. But then I have to remind myself, that, even as a highly intelligent person, I honestly believed at seventeen, that on my wedding night I would just have to close my eyes, pretend I was somewhere else, and hope it would be over quickly. And hope my partner would only ever want sex for children. I rationally believed some people must just not be as fond of sex as others- you see it joked about in comedies of- oh, maybe I'll do that thing for him tonight to keep him happy, in a sort of reluctant voice. And I just presumed it was a fact that some people just didn't like sex but you put up with it if you loved somebody. At one point homosexuality was considered a disease and doctors recommended etc. I guess it will just take time for people to understand. Well done you for standing up for yourself. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03358396501704024215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-30122441267138326972013-06-24T08:52:23.312-04:002013-06-24T08:52:23.312-04:00Wow. I have so many comments about your post, I do...Wow. I have so many comments about your post, I don't know where to start.<br /><br />1. I like to read those article comments sometimes because it reminds me of the idiots out there. Luckily I don't run into those types of people on a daily basis, otherwise I might not be so interested in seeing what they're saying.<br /><br />2. The perfect example of idiocy is that jtrobs123 comment and his last 2 sentences: ‘Your view is the view you want others to have. That itself is wrong. ‘ I assume this person is not a politician because they spend their whole careers, wrongly-in-his-eyes, trying to get people to have/accept their views. His statements are total eye rollers.<br /><br />3. Facelicker guy obviously has (had) a problem. As a heterosexual woman, the face lick would've grossed me out, turned me way off, and pissed me off. Yuck. After you got out of the situation and had time to consider it all, did it scare you to think what could've happened?<br /><br />I have many more reactions, but I’ll quit there. :)<br />Suzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16502606950280751205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8793202434796167753.post-21674731703564853892013-06-23T11:13:53.173-04:002013-06-23T11:13:53.173-04:00Wow. Kudos to you for telling your story & tha...Wow. Kudos to you for telling your story & thank you for sharing this. I am repeatedly disturbed at how much judgment goes on in this world, how many people think they need to "fix" others who don't think the way that they do. I'm glad that you love yourself - you should. Everyone should. Be who you are and keep getting the word out. I hope your book is picked up soon, too. I definitely want to read it. Best of luck to you! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14831430087693468636noreply@blogger.com